How Runway Modeling turned me away from the Fashion Industry

I was nine years old when I first began my career as a fashion model and it was six years later that I left with all of the knowledge I have now regarding the ugly truth of the beauty industry. However, the damage- was almost immediate. The fashion industry has always looked glamorous on the outside and to outsiders who don’t know any better, it is glamor. But on the inside, the fashion industry can apply pressure to pin points you never knew that you had.  Body image issues can arise, peer pressure to change your appearance, toxic behavior, and so much more. 

Growing up, I was always told “you should be a model”, simply because of my tall and skinny appearance. Praise and success was conditional based solely on your body- ot your talent. Talent could be taught- this was the only industry where it was acceptable to judge a child’s body and build a whole career around it. This also meant that it could be taken away should anything change. It was required in our contracts to look and stay looking a certain way or you’ll get dropped from your agency. This was a very real threat to anyone who signed a contract with a modeling agency- myself included. Confidence in yourself, your body, and your career was earned through vigorous training, workshops, and coaching. However, during this time in the modeling industry, I learned some rather unsettling insider secrets that surfaced such as standardized sizing, height and weight requirements, and the treatment of runway models behind the scenes. 

For example, When I signed my modeling contract with my modeling agency. I was immediately placed as a runway model with the assumption that when my six year contract ended, I would be at my peak height and weight and could then transition into an adult contract at 15 years old. This was standard operating procedures for the fashion industry in the early 2000s. Over the course of those 6 years, I watched and learned and saw from an insider’s perspective the operations of the fashion industry. When it was time for my contract to be transitioned to an adult contract, I had to be refitted,  measured, and assessed for my updated comp cards and portfolio. At that time, the industry standard for runway models was a bare minimum of 5’9” tall and, to this day, I still stand 5’ 8.5” tall. That day, I learned that the very same industry that raised and groomed me, quickly turned their backs on me and dropped my contract over a ½” difference in height. 

Some of our behind the scene moments revolved around endless fittings in standardized sizing. One specific type of model is called a “fit model” and their sole purpose is to fit into clothing of a certain standard size. For example, a standard size small fit model has to be exact measurements that a certain brand wants for their “small” size clothing. Considering this is discretionary to the preference of the designers, each fit model for each brand can be different sizes and therefore, each standard size for each brand can also be different. These strict sizing placements can mean non-negotiable sample sizing and body sizes for models. This practice means that the models are forbidden from changing sizes, gaining weight, or making any body modifications without the consent of the agency. Their body is quite literally the property of the modeling agency from the moment that contract is signed. Designers can also add to this continuous stress by designing clothing that is hard to wear, uncomfortable, and not realistic for average women. This poor sample size culture can translate to women becoming frustrated with sizes in the dressing room, which is hurtful to our internal narrative, mental health, and our confidence. 

I would hate to think that the fashion industry has a mental hold over so many people and how they view their bodies both in and out of the industry. Does the fashion industry have a silent contract over all of us? If not, then why do we all feel so much pressure to conform to these unknown,  unclear, and unspoken sample sizes?                     

I have continued to notice this common theme in my life as I discuss women’s fashion, design women’s fashion, and shop with and style my peers. I see the struggles, the angst, and the shame as the continuous beauty standards stare them down in depressing department store dressing room mirrors. Unfortunately for us, we have become conditioned to believe that if our clothing doesn’t fit, it is our fault. The narrative becomes intended to place blame on ourselves such as “I must have gained weight.” Suddenly, women are becoming less confident and more self conscious and the returns from online purchases become sky high in a rapid increase of desperate fast fashion. 

I feel the pain and I have lived the pain. I have been backstage with models at shows across the globe who would starve themselves just to avoid bloating on the runway. A moment that stays with me forever is when the production crew at Paris Fashion Week had a strict “water only” rule for the models and stated that the food was for the crew only. Some of these girls had been at the venue as early as 7 a.m. for hair and makeup before the show started 4 hours later at 11 a.m. This was especially striking to me because this showcase in Paris Fashion Week was a childhood dream come true for me and in that moment, my rose colored glasses shattered and I stared in the face the same mistreatment that I experienced as a runway model just 10 years previous. All of the shame and blame in the industry came full circle at that moment. 

This is just a small example of the treatment that is engrained, and even expected, by the fashion industry. Models would laugh it off and even productin teams would joke about making signs stating “ Don’t feed the models.” This was a moment that allowed me to reflect that no body is ever ”right”. The women that I shared that runway with all felt just as overweight as the rest of us. Even the women that are published in magazines and fawned for their perfect figures still wear their insecurities every day. In actuality, their career depends on it- their career and contract are in the grasp of a few pounds and I have seen the effects this social pressure can take on women, and even men. I quickly learned that this was not an empowering industry, it was damaging. The mental health and physical toll that was taken was disregarded because it couldn’t be seen on the surface. It became very clear that models are paid to smile not to eat. 

After that epiphany in Paris, I had a mental shift when I returned home. I realized that the fashion industry consistently makes money off of our insecurities. I worried that I had contributed to the industry in a harmful way and I chose to make a change rather than walk away. I found importance in wanting to be a different, refreshing voice in the fashion industry in a room full of designers screaming the same narrative. I found an urgency to change that narrative from women blaming their bodies because of inherited standards from generations before to becoming more informed about sizing structure and alternative clothing solutions. My new focus became rebuilding the fashion industry from the inside with a new standard of clothing with the goal of making women feel good about themselves again. 

I had to experience that surreal moment in one of the biggest fashion capitals of the world to realize that the whole fashion industry system is broken from designing to sample sizes and even the models we choose to represent us. If the sizing structure is broken in foundation then of course the clothes that are being manufactured and presented to women will make them feel rather insecure about their bodies. Everyday women have no choice but to compare how they look in the same outfit that was originally presented on a size 0 body runway model. The scale is not tipped in our favor, yet we are expected to accept this system for what it is. I realized that bodies are not made wrong-clothing is. Especially for women who naturally fluctuate in sizes on a monthly to daily basis. If even the skinny runway models are feeling the effects maybe it is time we embrace the changes our bodies make and start designing for those changes instead of hiding them in shame. I learned that confidence isn’t a personal flaw or vain- it’s systematic. It’s empowering and, as a matter of science, you can make yourself feel better by choosing an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself. That’s why we have the phrase “power outfit.” 

I discovered that the last time we saw adjustable clothing was when we were children and our garments regularly featured adjustable waistbands that changed sizes. The obvious answer being that children regularly change sizes. However, women also regularly change sizes. To me, dressing in clothing that accepts you for who you are is a confidence booster. To be able to dress in clothing that is comfortable without compromising style is a win win for me, especially in regards to self care and mental health. If confidence can be demeaned by the clothing that we wear, then the opposite can also be true that our confidence can be redeemed by the clothing that we wear. To me, size adjustable clothing is a confidence booster and restoration practice. Our bodies do not have to stay a stagnant size to be worthy. In fact, there is beauty to be found in the changes that we go through as women and I believe it’s time that we relearn how to dress and care for ourselves in a new way. In my opinion, clothing should support women and encourage them- not control them. 

Here is what I would like women to relearn about themselves.  You are rarely “between sizes” in clothing. The clothing was made for a certain size and there’s snow negotiation or wiggle room in those sizes. The fault isn’t in you or your body or your size. The sizing scale is inconsistent in nature and, frankly, it’s unregulated. Your body was never the problem, yet we have become conditioned to believe this facade and, in return, we shrink ourselves to fit into clothes or promise ourselves we will lose weight just to be labeled a size that we feel is more fair or true. Clothing should fit us instead of us conforming to sizes that were made 50 years ago. I would like to see more women shop for themselves and dress themselves with a new air of confidence based in fact and science from education around fashion and design. If you’ve ever blamed your body for how clothes fit, you’re not alone — and you’re not broken. I created Via Moscato for women who want clothing that adapts, supports, and restores confidence

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